Sometimes I want to run away.
Run away from this world,
Run away from this life,

Enclose myself in a box
Were the silence surrounds,
Enveloping the noise,
Were safety resides.

Sometimes I want to hide.
Hide from the evil I see,
the hurt that I feel,
the darkness inside me.

Sometimes I crave.
I crave the silence of the night,
the quietness of it all,
the lightness that I feel.

I want it.

okay so i've been experimenting on some new templates big deal! Does this one look okay at least? Me: I THINK IT LOOKS ADORABLE! what a cutie-patutie!

Okay Im better now. Im on this new Meds. and its keeping me calm so thats a good sign. I think Im highly neurotic.....and when Im overly-stressed, I seem to go crazy! I dropped my Psych class.....again. I feel like such a failure. I had two more weeks to go and i dropped it. why?! nothing is ever right anymore. Something has got to give......

im pulling an all nighter.......please kill me! when will I EVER LEARN??!! Procasinating will get you nowhere! NOWHERE! Hear that Gladys? THats your braincells crying for HELP. sLeEp DePrIvAtIoN will get you NOWHERE! DEar heavenly father, Please for the love of god let me stay awake till my paper is finish. Keep my eyelidS from drooping. COFFFFFEEEEEE! COFFFFFEEEEEEE!

My poor umbrella. It was faced with an unexpected, early demise yesterday aftenoon. A big gust of wind carried my darling umbrella from my caring hands and threw it on the wet pavement road where the neverending vehicles continuously run over my beloved friend. Poor baby. Fortunately, my saviour for the day was my handy-dandy, red, new umbrella that was in my bag. Now imagine if I never purchased the dang thing. What would have happened?

I came to work at exactly 8:30 this morning....only to find out three hours later that I was not scheduled to work the day-time shift.

Please put me out of my misery!

Last night I was working till 11 pm @ boston.

FACT: I hate all my boston co-workers. They all suffer from anal retention defecit......I dont think there's such a thing.

HIGHLIGHT: Pay day last night and Pay day today!

NEGATIVE: I have to go back to work tonight because my bastard of a boss wont cover for me.

STRESS FACTOR: My Psych Paper is due this Monday and I'm working all weekend....

CONCLUSION: I'm going to fail my class!

SOLUTION: Deny, deny, deny!

Dear Chris,

You are now officially twenty years old.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

How does it feel to be that old? Have you gain any maturity or insight to the meaning of life yet?

Gross! That sounds like a pompous thing a philosopher professor would ask, but really how does it feel like?

Did you at least celebrate your coming of age as an adult?

I bet since your from an asian family....you were given $$ as gifts =/

How about cake? I love cake......make sure you share some with me :p

I wouldnt mind the presents as well.

Sincerely, Your good friend,

Gladys Opeda


P.S. at least I remembered you birthday!

I saw Jacky at Chutney's in RC today. I looked at him, he looked at me and we both nodded our head. Me: Hello Jacky Jacky: Hi. =/ It was the most shortest conversation to be exchanged. Ever.

I saw Jacky at Chutney's in RC today. I looked at him, he looked at me and we both nodded our head. Me: Hello Jacky Jacky: Hi. =/ It was the most shortest conversation to be exchanged. Ever.

A Disaster!

Today was the most humiliating, most petrifying, most mortifying, most......horrible? day of my life! Did I say horrible?

They asked me to come into this little cubicle thingy and sit on top of the lil' table with an itchy covering while I was asked to spread my legs and take off my undies.

OMIGOD!

Im like NO! I am most certainly not going to do that.

The woman doctor reassured me that everything was standard procedure.....I believe every word that flew from her mouth, that is until she held this long, lethal tubey thingy.

I was like what is that?

Ms. Doc was like "oh an instrument that needs to be inserted in your you know what.....Im like WHAT?!

Nu-uh! No way.

The last time something that long and hideous was inserted in me....well lets just say it did'nt end well.

I made excuses to the Doc. about having to do something else and I booked it out of there.

Today's mission? Impossibly horrifying.

OoooooOOOOOOoooooooOOOOO! I SAW MY FIRST CHERRY BLOSSOMS TODAY! IM SO HAPPY I COULD BURST! WOW! WOWW! WOWWW! WOWWWWW! SPRING IS REALLY HERE! CAN YOU SAY "WOW.......WOWW........WOWWWWW!"

nothing interesting happened today...nothing at all. =/

OMIGOD...that could have been me!

I was driving on my way home from work on the dark, shrouded streets of Shell and Alderbridge, when the car in front of me all of a sudden swerved as he made a left turn; consequently, the vehicle side-swiped an oncoming car--this all happened in a matter of seconds. I felt kind of guilty for going my merry way and not caring to see if the passengers in both vehicles were dead or alive. Oh well...at least I should be grateful that wasnt me driving. Dont worry, I wasnt a total bitch. I did call 911 to inform the operator that there was an accident.

Dear God,

Thru devine intervention: You can assist me by making my days at work go lightning-fast instead of the snail-pace-crawl it is currently running. Spread your magic by helping me ace my psych exam by keeping my head on straight thru the hours of studying and the the amounts of coffee I indulge in. Sprinkle some Mr. Sandman dust while I attempt to get a full eight hours of sleep. Share some TLC to give me the courage to visit my gynecologist. .........To save face, and prevent further humiliation: Lend an ear when I pray to you, and god-willing you will answer my desperate prayers when I ask for a woman doctor instead of the oppossite sex. Yours contrite, sinner, ~G ann~

I hate you.

If I have anything better to say I'll type it down and let you know.

That way I can get crucified once again from my fun loving, narcissist, blogging buddies.

Good Day Losers.

I worked 8 hours straight today without taking a break. Kill me! Im getting pretty sick of bussing tables. Everytime I turn around there's an empty table waiting to be cleared and set. = / I hate my job. Hate it. Im getting pimples because of all that make up Im wearing and Im constantly running through my paychecks. In other news, all my fellow wrapzoners has decided to walk out of their job and I am officially announcing the start of the: FIASCO FIESTA!

omigod...omigod! I saw this thing and it was moving!

So last night I went to my first gay bar in show of support for one of my good friend.

=/ Kill me!

Its not that fun when your the only straight laddie in a club full of homosexuals whose hormones are raging for one another.

At least the whole night wasnt a waste.

I got a full frontal view of a male stripper dancing while taking a shower during the song,

"Hit me baby one more time!" played on.

I risk my life everytime I get into my sitster's car.

My question is how'd she ever aquire a license?

She gets behind the wheel and I instantly think she's one of those anti-social nutcases who doesnt give a crap to whomever she mows down.

Pray for me.....better yet pray that she never drives again.

Help!

Unforgivable! My dad ate all of my goldilock cake! PIG! Unbelievable. It was there this morning and this afternoon it disappeared. =/ pig.

Today, I stepped on the scale for the first time in one month. I thought I got over this obsessive compulsive need to weight myself...I guess not =/
I dont want to say how much weight I gained because in doing so, I would have to face my ultimate failure.

I have failed.

Im no longer stick-thin like my barbies =/ How very dissappointing (sigh!)
At least now my chest doesnt look as boring and my tushy....well now I have something to look at unlike before.

I love my new me, really I do.

Maybe tomorrow I'll see something different to hate.

Like maybe my cellulite or how my tummy likes to do the, "rolling-dance" you know like the 70's show where they dance on roller-blades and do the wave?

Nevermind.

I'm going to have to remove that idiotic scale from my bathroom because I keep thinking that its beckoning me to weight myself--as if its my mate or something.

I'm not crazy.

I use to think that girl in the mirror was me. The easy smile, the constant laughter, her vivacious personality, I use to know that girl, use to be so in tuned with her, use to identify with her, use to love her, use to respect her.

Today, I stand in front of that very same mirror--I wonder who that girl is, the one with the soulless eyes, the one who attempts to smile but doesn't really quite succeed--she laughs on cue, and acts like the social butterfly she was cast as--on the front everything seems to be okay.

One day she decides to end it all.

I watch her shatter the mirror wall--with one hand she pick up a sharp, jagged piece, and with one swipe she ends her pain. Ends the lies.

There she lies motionless, lifeless, on the brink of death, silently crying for help--

I watch her slowly go to pieces.

Dear Me,

If I analyze it too closely, I know I will crack; hence as a defense mechanism I will hide behind my rose-tinted shades and refuse to accept the unacceptable—that is until now.

This only happens once a year and I think it only happens when I’m most vulnerable. I try not to think or talk about it—or in any case, avoid the topic as much as possible. Many times I’ve broached this subject with light-heartedness when friends asks, but I now know that was a front to disguise the truth, the pain, the betrayal, and love.

The saying goes that children are the production of parents—biologically yes, but the cognitive and behavioral part I’m not so inclined to agree.

My fear: becoming the replica of my parents.

I don’t ever want to turn out like my parents: self absorbed, dysfunctional, callous, vindictive, and conniving—I could go on and on until I produce a long list of their flaws, but who am I to judge right? I mean, yes they provided the necessities that I needed as a person, but on the grand parent scale, they didn’t really provide the emotional stability that all children crave for, and for this, I cant wholly forgive them.

As I watch them from afar I notice the hidden flaws in them that mirrors mine.
As much as I want to distance myself from my parents—as much as I tell myself that what they do wont impact me in anyway—I’m wrong because their actions defines who I am today. You see, I am very much the production of my parents, flawed inside as well as outside. Simply put: we’re destined to be dammed no matter what, the choices that shape our way of thinking shall and will test our ability to identify with ourselves and others.

What a ball!!!!

Okay, so yesterday was my first job. I didnt really give the best impression. I was 5 minutes late! At least I was dressed appropriately....I think, until my sister had the gall to criticize me about my outfit, "Is that what your wearing?" she asked, "Your falling out of your top." Thank you so much my sister dearest for your love and support... thank you & and Fuck you. Wow now I feel better. Aside from the fact that my shoe gear about killed me last night, and my top kept sliding from my upper body, the night went and ended well. I hate Boston Pizza! Hate it with a passion that Im pretty sure will turn into love....god-willing =/ They suck at training trainees. First thing that I got to do was seat the customers. Im like, "Huh? Where? You mean the bathroom right because thats the extent of my knowledgable abilities." I dont even know the freaking floor plan and you expect me to seat them. Sheeze Louise! And the Boston gals? Well, half of them looks like they have constant constipation by the sour looks Im getting, and the other half should really lay off those ADD pills.....wow do they really work. And the Boston guys? Their hot, but thats all they are. Kind of like your typical dumb blond, except with a dick. =p

I start my first day at work tomorrow! Wish me luck! Im excited, excited, excited. I bought a whole new wardrobe just for this job :s Oh have you noticed that it started snowing today........once again? I just love snow!